Maelstrom

I've been feeling a little off lately, and it's been bad for my writing and revising. I have depression, which I'm pretty open about. It's an ongoing fact of life for me. So I decided to try to put some of that feeling into words, in poetry. Maybe it will resonate with someone else out there too.

maelstrom

She stands on the edge,
her feet submerged in grainy darkness.
Waves crash;
her shoulders sag under the weight of
the fears
the sorrows
the guilts
the failures
the mistakes
that drown her silent voice.
She cries so loud no one can hear her.
Her tears echo in the waves that break against her back.

But she stands.
She throws back her shoulders.
She shakes off the darkness --
the fears sorrows guilts failures mistakes --
and she pours them out into the whirling darkness that laps at her feet.

Drip
Drop
Slips them in gently, without a sound.
Lets them slide off her back
and into the gaping black hole that dogs her footsteps.
And she is Light.
Free.

With her pains and her sorrows
behind her,
in the black hole.
So greedy, it slurps the poison in.

And she turns her face to the sun,
One step away from the darkness.

Yet.

The black hole grows.
Swelling quietly behind her back,
beneath her feet.
Until it grows so large that it crests its horizon.

And it laps around her ankles,
dark waves caressing her tired feet.

And she slumps, and turns her face from the sun.
And the wave slowly pulls her
Back.
Into the darkness.

Leaving her with a lingering memory of light.

Until

Hey, everyone! It's time to Pimp. My. Bio. I have a feeling I may be too white and nerdy to use that phrase.

If you want to be white and nerdy cool like me, you can pimp your bio too! The host post is here: http://www.lanapattinson.com/pitch-wars-2017-pimpmybio-contestant-blog-hop/

Step 1: Write up a blog post about yourself. And link back to the main blog hop page. ^

Step 2: Upload the link address from your blog post to the cool little Linky Widget thingamabob that does the job, and bibbidi bobbidi boo, you'll turn into Cinderella!
Wait, wrong fairytale.

Your blog will get added to the blog hop, which may not be as exciting as riding in a giant pumpkin, but on the plus side, it probably smells better. Your name and genre goes in the "your title" field.

Step 3: Read other hopefuls' blogs, be nice, make friends, have fun! One of the best things that can come out of participating in this kind of contest is the new friends and writing buddies you'll find. Publishing is a tough business. We've got to stick together.

The blog hop is currently open! So hop on over and join in the fun.

So, you might be asking, what is this Pitch Wars thing all about? Good question! It's a competition meant for polished manuscripts. You submit your manuscript to 4 mentors who are open to the age category and genre that your story fits. If your MS is chosen, your mentor will help you revise and polish up your story until it's all shiny and ready for the agent showcase in November. All the details of how to enter are available here, on our lovely fairy godmother Brenda Drake's blog: http://www.brenda-drake.com/2017/06/pitch-wars-2017-details/

The thing about Pitch Wars is, you'll get out of it what you want. If you put yourself out there, it's really easy to find new writing friends to help support you in your journey. Mentors post great resources on how to revise your own writing. You'll learn how to improve yourself as a writer, and you'll find a community like nothing else you've seen before. It's pretty amazing. Plus, there are raptor GIFs, if you're into that sort of thing.

Now if you're a fellow hopeful mentee, or a potential mentor, you're probably asking, who is this strange person telling me things I already know? Another great question! (Sorry, that's the Sunday School teacher side of me coming out. I love questions.)

Ahem. So, you may have noticed that I am, indeed, white and nerdy. I love all things Star Wars. Rey had better be awesome in the next movie, or I may never forgive Disney.

I love a fierce heroine. Dragons are pretty much always a bonus; I'm proud I've convinced all 3 of my girls of this already. Oldest made me a dragon-filled birthday card this year. So, I'm a mom of 3 girls who are also trending perilously to the nerdy side. Thankfully they've also inherited some coordination and athleticism from their dad, so they might just survive their teenage years with a few less emotional traumas than I did. I have Aspergers, but I didn't know that until last year, so that made growing up extra interesting.

I love fantasy and sci-fi in particular. Historical fiction and historical fantasy are next on my list. Serious, funny, sweet, heartbreaking, long and winding, or short, I don't really care - if it's got an interesting world-building setup and good characters, give it to me now.

Pretty please?

This is my second year entering Pitch Wars. Last year, my manuscript TOTALLY wasn't ready. I cringe, looking back at it now. But I'm still glad I entered, because I learned so much from listening to the mentors and poring over their blog posts. I made connections with mentors who were kind and kept in touch, and helped me keep moving when I got stuck. I devoted myself to revising that manuscript, and it's 1000% better now.

Not entering it this year, though, because I'm still not happy with where it is. Someday, it will get there.

So instead, I'm entering an Adult fantasy this year; a fairytale retelling. It's very loosely based on the Grimm version of Sleeping Beauty, but it's centered on Maleficent's POV instead. And no, it's nothing like the Disney version. Think more this:

and less this:

along with a healthy dash of revenge gone wrong, plot twists that will hopefully make you scream in a good way, and a mother-daughter relationship so messed up that only a miracle could save it.

That's me and my story, in a nutshell. I tweet @bethanyrambles on Twitter, mostly about writing, a little about my kids and everyday life, and a little about politics. Hopefully you enjoyed this year's edition of Piiiiimp...Myyyyyy...Bioooooo...(slow fade into darkness.)

Love

I'm posting about something different today, so feel free to skip this one. It's not about writing craft or community.

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have noticed the last few days I posted that my grandfather is in the hospital. Probably dying. I'm getting updates from my dad, because I live too far away to be there right now, and grandpa is getting worse by the hour now. And the thing that really sucks is that it's not pleasant. He can't breathe, he can't eat, water makes him sick, and he's throwing up. Fluid in his lungs, fluid compressing his heart. Infection, high white cell count. Failing kidneys.

It breaks my heart. Even if I could be there, I don't know that I could stand it.

My grandpa is a good man. He's in his 90s, so yes, it's his time, and I know it, but it doesn't make the pain less. I know he wants to be with grandma again. That doesn't lessen my sorrow much either. Not because I don't believe it, but because of who he is.

So let me tell you a little bit about my grandpa.

When I think of him, I think of pears, and chocolate chip cookies. Family dinners, with so many people that half of us ate in the dining room and half of us ate in the living room.

I think of him and grandma, traveling all over the US in their RV, so they could visit their grandkids as often as possible. When I was a young teenager, I went with them in that RV one summer, from Oregon down to San Francisco, to my oldest cousin's wedding. We got stuck in Boring, Oregon, for a little while and barely made it there in time.

I think of family reunions, and t-shirts with all the bad puns from our last name. We knew them all, used them on our answering machines or shot them back at people who thought they'd come up with a clever new one. I remember one family reunion when I was a freshman, I think. We rented a few (large!) cabins and cooked and camped and went river rafting together. All of us cousins swapped around which cabin we were sleeping, so we could hang out with family members we didn't get to see that often. I felt so close to my cousins, even though we lived far apart and only visited once every 2-3 years. My grandparents did that.

When I think of grandpa, I think of family, first and foremost. He was devoted to his family. There are 24 of us grandkids, and we all got birthday cards. He was there for most of the big occasions - graduations, weddings, baby blessings for some of the great-grandkids. My grandpa is a temple sealer, which means he has the priesthood authority to perform eternal marriage ceremonies in LDS temples. He performed the ceremony when I got married, and married many of my cousins as well.

I'll never forget the way his eyes sparkled with tears as he sealed my husband and I together, for time and all eternity. Love filled the room that day.

When I think of grandpa, I picture him with a big smile on his face, arms outstretched for a hug. White buttoned-down shirt, glasses. Always neat. Always ready with a joke.

I don't remember when, but he started a family tradition of speaking love more often. Whenever we got together, after family prayer (and keep in mind, he had 6 kids, all married, and 24 grandkids, so that's one giant prayer circle), we'd all put our hands in. Like a football team preparing for the big game. Then we'd say "Sure love ya!" and throw our hands up. To this day, whenever someone in my family says those words, it makes me smile and think of grandpa.

I think of nature, and how he loved his garden and the animals that visited. He had an otter in his yard just last week.

I think of how much he loved grandma.

I think of honor and truth, dedication and service. He was a navy man. So dapper in his old uniform pictures.

He's kind and loving. When my grandma joined the church, he drove her to worship meetings twice every Sunday for years, until eventually he joined too. I don't think I've ever heard him speak a harsh word about anyone. Not even in politics. He loves all of his grandchildren so much, even though we haven't all made the same choices he would have wanted for us.

When I think of grandpa, I think of joy.

The reality is that without him, my entire family would be so different. Counting his children, grandchildren, the spouses because he would count them as family-by-love, and great-grandchildren, he has about 100 descendants. All of us would be so different without him and his influence on our lives. And that's why the thought of losing him is so hard for me. Without grandpa, my family as I know it wouldn't exist.

He's the kind of good man whose impact is felt for generations. And I'm so fortunate to be able to call him my grandfather.

Sure love you, Grandpa. And give Grandma a big hug from me.

One pitch, two pitch, me pitch, you pitch

So the writing community's version of March Madness is all set for the hosting round. For most of us who entered, we've been benched and get to watch the rest of the action from the sidelines. But just like any other talent, you can choose how you want to use that time. Do you sit on the bench and sulk, wallowing in your misery?

You can. It's your choice. Personally, I think suppressing all your disappointment and sadness isn't healthy. But don't waste all your time on it. Give yourself a day, or a week, to indulge your feelings a little. Acknowledge them, take a little time for self-care, and then pull yourself up and get ready to work.

Because your other choice is to watch the winning team and learn from them. Read their pitches, once the agent round begins. Look for others in your age category and genre; see what they're doing that works, and apply those techniques to your own manuscript. Admitting that your writing is flawed is HARD, people! Our stories are so often personal, a snippet of our souls, that sharing them and then facing rejection can feel devastating.

Finding out that your truth wasn't quite good enough? That can be even harder.

But it's all fixable, if you stick with it. Don't take yourself out of the game. Google everything. Read about how to pitch online, in person, and via Twitter. They're all different. Read about comma usage, if that's where you struggle. Read about how to use beat sheets if you struggle with pacing. Try the if/then method. Fill out character worksheets until you know each character, no matter how minor, better than you know your own family. Read up on settings, historical eras, poisonous plants, futuristic technology, whatever your story needs to make sure it's believable.

Then go out and look on Amazon for all the top-selling books in your age category and genre. Read as many as you can get your hands on, and start with the most recent ones. You want to know what sells right now. Read the reviews people have written of those books, dissecting them. What did people like, and why? What bothered readers?

And find yourself a small crew of critique partners and beta readers to work with. You don't need that many, although some people like having several at a time. For me, I have one tried and true CP who reads all my work after a couple drafts. She is amazing and thorough and puts me under a microscope. I have a few other new ones, and we're still testing out our relationships to see if we'll work well together. Finding your people can take time, but it is so incredibly worth it. These are the people you'll thank in your acknowledgements. They're the ones you'll want to call when you finally get that offer of rep, when that contract comes your way. And they'll keep you sane in the meantime.

I keep forgetting to add this: Critique for other people. If you can start reading other people's writing more consciously, looking for errors deeper than basic grammar, figuring out what you liked/disliked and why, you start to develop those skills to apply to your own stories. I have a much easier time analyzing other people's work than my own. And sometimes I can come off too harsh, unfortunately, so I'm working on honing my own critiquing skills. But the more you do it, the better you get at breaking things down and seeing the nuts and bolts of how a story ought to work.

So...ahem. On to something slightly more concrete. My pitch for Pitch Madness was not great. I didn't put as much time into it as I needed to. But during the reading round, I had time to sit down and (again) read over advice from the pros on pitching, and I hope what I crafted is going to land me some requests. I had to entirely scrap the way I had been structuring my 35 word pitch and start over again. As much as that sucked, sometimes it's necessary.

Here's the pitch I entered:

Seventeen-year-old Emily has two weeks to write a novella or she’ll flunk English and lose her full-ride scholarship. Then her characters start arguing with her—unless she’s losing her mind. And that’s her worst nightmare.

It's not awful. It identifies the MC right away, without spending too many words on her. I found, after feedback, that readers needed Emily's age to know whether she's a college or high school student. So that's the WHO. WHO your pitch is about needs to be clear, but sometimes we get too wrapped up in wanting to tell about how cool our MC is that we waste space on extra details. Keep the WHO slim.

WHAT is next. That's the challenge, your MC's main obstacle. In my case, it's having to write the novella or flunk and lose her scholarship. So I've laid out both the obstacle and the stakes (why she has to overcome that particular challenge).

HOW is last. HOW is tricky. And it's part of where I think I failed in this pitch. HOW is more subtle - which path is she going to take, and why, and how does it affect her ability to overcome this obstacle? (You don't have to answer all of those questions at once, but those are the kind of things at play here.) Without some reason here, you end up with "My character is going to rob a bank today because I said so." Instead of "My character is going to rob a bank today because he's been out of work for eight months and he's already sold everything he can, including a kidney, and he's out of options because the bank dropped off a foreclosure notice that morning." It's why any of this matters, and why it should matter to the rest of us.

Here's my newly drafted version, after I spent half an hour trimming it from about 50 words down to 35:

Emily dreams of curing the disease that took her mom, but school’s too expensive. When an eccentric teacher’s magical typewriter triggers her fear of inheriting dementia, she must face her fears or lose her scholarship.

I'll admit, I still don't think it's perfect, but it's getting better. We still have the WHO up front, but I decided to eliminate the age. I think it gives a rough impression of her age, especially since it's YA. It's enough to go on.

You'll notice I backtracked on the WHAT here. (This is the part I'm not sure about yet.) The premise of having to write a novella or lose her scholarship is downplayed, but I'm hoping with the addition of WHY, it will work out.

HOW/WHY is given much more space in here. WHY should you care about this story? Because it's about invisible illness. WHY does Emily want to go to med school? Because of her dead mom. WHY does the magical typewriter freak her out so badly? As a person with a family history of dementia, I can tell you first hand that it gets to you. Forgetting things, mis-remembering things, feeling confused...it's not a pleasant worry to have hanging over your head. Anyhow. All this makes Emily a much more sympathetic, and interesting character. Her plight becomes more interesting, more nuanced, as well. The connection from A to B to C isn't as clear as I'd like it, but it feels stronger to me.

As always, if you have thoughts, comment away! If you want to hit me up on Twitter and talk about pitching, you know where to find me. @ me, or DM me if we follow each other.

Part 3 of Contest Wisdom

As the team reveal for Pitch Madness approaches, I thought I'd post about etiquette and self-care for that part. A lot of this, I didn't know a year ago. I probably would have made some serious missteps if it hadn't been for other competitors and mentors passing along gentle reminders. Don't tell my kids, but I'm not *really* all-knowing. I've just been around the block a little by now.

(I wish I had half of Carla's sass)

THE BIG REVEAL

1. BE CONSIDERATE

I’ve been on both sides of the competition. I’ve been selected, and not. Not getting picked can be devastating. And it’s OKAY to feel that! It’s normal! But…don’t take it out on anyone else. Don’t dump on the mentors and trash them for not picking you. (Word gets around. Anybody else who entered PitchWars 2016 remember the crazy jerky older guy? He's not going to be getting a publishing deal anytime soon after demonstrating that he's unwilling to work with anyone or take advice. Don't be that guy!) Try to keep your disappointment off the hashtag. Vent privately if you need to, offline, to a trusted friend or family member.

More like this:

And less like this:

On the flip side, if you ARE chosen, congrats! But remember that only a tiny percentage of entries are selected. You’re going to feel giddy, exploding with excitement.

Celebrate! But again, save most of it for in private. DM your best CP friend who got in with you. Talk to your spouse, your parents, your BFF, your pet hamster. If you go on and on about yourself online, on the hashtag, think of how hurtful that is to all the people who didn’t make it in. So if you get picked, limit yourself to one or two tweets on the hashtag. We like to see that you know you’ve won, after all. Last year, those of us who were in NoQS created our own separate hashtags, so that we could talk and find our teammates without rubbing everyone else’s noses in it. A little politeness and consideration go a long way.

2. MAKE 2 PLANS BEFOREHAND

Decide what you’re going to do if you win. Pick a way to reward yourself. The road to publishing is filled with tiny victories, and they’re important to celebrate, because the constant stream of rejection will drag you down if you don’t actively take time to notice the positive.

Also decide what you’re going to do if you lose. Set a time limit for how long you are allowed to sulk, if you think that’s something you’re going to need. Step away from your story for a week, if you have to. Don’t obsess over the feed, or why you “lost” and someone else won. Indulge your hurt feelings for that short period of time, then get up and keep on going. Sometimes the mentors will do blog posts or Twitter threads on trends they saw that people need to fix. Read them! Apply their strategies to your novel. You can get out of a contest as much or as little as you want to. I’ll tell you right now that I’m a much better writer now than I was a year ago, and it’s due to the resources I found online through these contests. I started reading everything more critically and writing more consciously, and it shows.

If you win, be gracious. If you lose, be gracious. And either way, you’re in for a lot of hard work and revisions.

More words of wisdom from yer old Auntie B

The fun thing about having been around the Twitter writing circle for a little bit now is I'm starting to feel old. Plus, I know lots of authors with published novels, who are significantly younger than I am. Mid 30s are the new 60, apparently!

But with age comes wisdom. So here is post #2 about writing contests.

DURING THE CONTEST

1. MAKE NEW FRIENDS!

This is the best part of contests. Everyone involved can make new connections in the writing community. And since a lot of us are introverts, meeting new writer friends online is less intimidating, and it fills a void. Knowing there are other people out there just as crazy as you is empowering. Find new critique partners and beta readers, and cool people you just want to keep in touch with. This business is hard, and having friends along the way makes it so much easier to take the rejections.

And don’t just make friends with the other contestants. Get to know the mentors, readers, and judges. Most of them are just a few steps further along in their writing career, and they remember exactly how hard it is to be querying. Many of them host blogs with great writing tips—free learning resources with solid techniques on how to improve your own writing. Because whatever you’re doing wrong, chances are someone else out there has done it too.

Author confession: Every time a mentor follows me back, I squee a little.

The flipside of that is, do also respect that these are busy authors. Ask them questions when you need help, but try to find the answer yourself first. Don’t ask silly questions you could find out the answer to in 5 seconds on Google. They’re glad to help, but if you’re constantly asking things that are already answered on the contest FAQs and directions, they’re going to start questioning your reading comprehension skills.

2. PARTICIPATE ON THE HASHTAGS!

It’s fun! And playing all these games, where you describe your character in 3 words or come up with comps or whatever are actually useful. The games help you define your novel. The more concise you can be, the easier it is to pitch. And if someone asks what your MC likes to eat, and you can’t answer…maybe you need to get inside his/her head a little more. If you can’t picture your setting, have you given it enough thought and description in your story? So use the hashtags to have fun, make friends, and figure out your own strengths and weaknesses.

3. TRY NOT TO OBSESS

We all do it. But you have to figure out what your personal mental health limits are. The first time I entered, I think I was on the hashtag almost all day long. Bad me. This time, I’m checking in a few times a day. I’m relaxing over it. Part of that comes with experience, but it’s also a choice. Remember, if you don’t get in, it’s not the end of the world. Most writers don’t find their agent through competitions.

Stay tuned for part 3!

A little contest wisdom (Or, I get by with a little help from my friends)

Hey you! Yes, you. A year ago, I was in your shoes. Sitting in front of my laptop, scanning the Twitter feed during a contest, crossing my fingers and hoping that my entry would get picked. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

For this past year, I’ve made a concerted effort to learn, improve my writing, and get published. I’m obviously not there yet, because I’m still querying and entering competitions along with you, but I HAVE learned a lot along the way, and I figured it’s time to share the love. So here are some words of wisdom, based off my contest and pitching experiences of the past year. I'll be doing a series of posts since I ended up with a lot more info than I thought I would. But I am known for rambling on and on and on...whoops.

(In case you were wondering: My 1st #pitchmadness entry made it onto one team’s shortlist, but not onto the final. I entered a different MS into #PitchWars, had absolutely no requests, but did get amazing advice on how to rework the story into something 100 times better. I labored over that MS for months, revising it until I couldn’t stand the story any longer, and then entered it into Nightmare on Query Street. I got in! I got a few requests! But…no agent. So here I am, back at #pitchmadness again.)

BEFORE A CONTEST:
1. ALWAYS READ THE RULES.
Make sure you’re eligible. Make sure you’re in the right age group, pitching the right category of book. Make sure that if you’ve won a different contest, you aren’t DQ’d from this one. And please, for everyone’s sake, NEVER EVER EVER enter a contest with a manuscript that hasn’t been revised and beta read at the very least; for the love of all that is holy, don’t enter an unfinished manuscript.

It will show. The judges will notice. And word might get around that you are wasting people’s time, trying to skip the process. None of us are geniuses who put out perfect stories on the first try. Not even the magical Brenda Drake. Remember, publishing is a looooong game; there will be other contests, other pitch days, and plenty of time for you to find an agent.

2. ALWAYS DOUBLE/TRIPLE CHECK YOUR FORMATTING
This is a pet peeve of about every slush reader and mentor I’ve ever seen, and agents too. If it’s a minor detail, they’ll probably let it slide. But if your entire MS is in Comic Sans, single spaced, and purple lettering…you’re more likely to end up in the trash.

Following the boring, technical formatting details shows that you’re serious. You can read and follow directions, which means you’re more likely to take instruction. So if an editor comes back to you and points out something that needs to get changed, you’re more likely to listen. That’s the impression you want to give. Writing is creative, but it’s still a profession. If a contest decision comes down to two amazing manuscripts, one who followed all the rules and one who didn’t, who do you think would get chosen?

3. INVESTIGATE
Check out the contest. Look for past successes—not to say that new contests are horrible, there was a great new one last year—but make sure you’re not being sucked into a scam.

Also, take a look at the readers, hosts, and agents. Follow them on Twitter. For some competitions, you’ll have to select which mentors to submit to. Read their books and blogs and follow them on social media to get a sense of what they write, what their style is, and if it would be a match for you. Don’t sub to someone just because you think they’re cool. It’s tempting, I know, but you’re better off finding someone who actually likes your genre. If a mentor has a specific list of triggers they don’t read, respect it.

Always check out any agent or publisher as well. Most agents and publishers out there are legit. But there are always presses who try to take advantage of the fact that we are dreamers getting constant rejections in a disheartening business. If someone is asking you to put up your own money to publish a book, run. If they’re offering you a shortcut, check it out. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. So vet them online as well. Check out Publishers Weekly, Preditors and Editors, Absolute Write. Google them. Does their website look like my preschooler put it together? Bad sign. Ask around. The writing community is pretty tight knit. If a publisher is shady, chances are someone else has run into them before and can steer you clear.

Lastly, take a look at the contest itself. What’s the prize? Is it something you want? Will it advance your career? And are you willing to put in the time and effort it takes, if it’s a mentoring opportunity? If you’re convinced your story is word-for-word perfect and aren’t open to suggestions, then do everyone a favor and don’t take a mentored spot someone else is dying to have.

Next, I'll tackle what to do during the contest to make the most of your experience. And if you have any words of wisdom to add, please comment! This is just based off my own experience and I'm sure there are other people with more ideas to share.