I have 3 girls, ranging from tweenager-hood down to preschool ages. And my middlest (no, that's not a typo. She is truly oh-so-much a middle child) voiced an interesting complaint about books.
I should probably preface this by saying that my two older girls are both avid readers. They both read 3-4 grade levels above their age groups. And they read pretty widely; they're experimenting and finding authors and genres that they like.
So. Back to Middlest's complaint. She said, "You know, Mom, it seems like all the girls in books like pink and fancy things and that sort of stuff. And I hardly know any girls that are actually like that! Why do so many grownups think that all girls are into pink and princesses and...I don't know, fancy, foofy things?"
I had a few thoughts flash through my head as she said this. First, I am so PROUD of her that she's reading thoughtfully and identified WHY certain books weren't resonating with her.
Second, I admit to being a little confused, because we don't have a lot of those kinds of books in our house, except for early readers, because at that age, 2 of my 3 DID love pink and princesses and fairies and anything that sparkled. Although they also loved adventures and humor and strong girls. No fainting maidens in my house.
And third, I felt a little sad that she is already running into that wall of conformity that starts to shut girls out, to tell them they aren't capable; that they are too dainty to do adventurous things, incapable of understanding math or science as well as boys their age, or that it's just not acceptable to like something a little different.
So of course we talked about it. We discussed how important it is for kids who read MG or YA in particular to find books that they can identify with, that can help them feel valid in their world. To know that they aren't alone. That was huge for me when I was their age; because of my undiagnosed depression and Asperger's I spent too many years of my life feeling like I was the only person in the world who didn't fit into the puzzle. I don't want that for my girls. So I read them things with amazing, smart, funny girls in it. Stories with boys who are kind. Stories where girls can use science to save the day. Stories where a princess doesn't want to marry the boring prince and instead runs away to live with the dragons (I love love LOVE the Enchanted Forest Chronicles!). Stories where kids can be friends, even if they like different things, eat different foods, come from different ethnicities. Anything that tells them that whoever they choose to be, whatever they choose to love, it's okay. (And if you have suggestions, please comment!)
And all this got the wheels in my head turning, of course. Because Oldest has ADD and Asperger's like me-well, all 3 of my girls have the Asperger's at least-and along with that, she has extreme difficulty writing. Her brain cannot make the connections to organize her thoughts in order to put them on paper. If you don't mention writing to her, but ask her to tell you about a story she's read, she can verbalize her thoughts, although they'll be a little disorganized. But whose wouldn't? Anyhow, I digress a bit.
After years of fighting with her school and finally getting her an official diagnosis, Oldest, by now, loathes writing. She's addicted to books, however. I'm constantly prying them out of her fingers after she's been tucked into bed, sweeping my hand sneakily under her pillow when I tuck her in, and occasionally doing random room checks late at night to make sure she hasn't snuck out of bed to read, huddled by her nightlight. And yet she HATES to WRITE. (Thanks, idiots at school who refused to believe she has a problem...)
So I'm thinking about involving her and Middlest in my next project. I have no idea what the book would be about; I'd bet they could come up with a pretty good plot on their own. I'd really like to write something where the protagonist has the neuro issues that my girls do, without the book screaming "I am about autism!" Something that girls like mine could identify with, when they see how the character's thoughts work in this strange and amazing what that an autistic brain does, especially since autistic girls are still drastically underdiagnosed because they are so good at copying others and masking their symptoms in order to gain social acceptance. I don't want them growing up the way that I did, feeling like I was stuck on the other side of a one-way mirror.
I think it's a great idea. I wanted to mention something I read a while back (which I vaguely remember, so take it for what it is worth). In a blog post by an author about his kid (son?) who struggled with writing but loved reading, he tried a process where his son recorded a story, then either typed it up or used transcription software to turn it into text. I don't remember which. I think he then lightly edited it, but only for grammar/spelling. Then, his son read it and rewrote parts that didn't feel right. After doing this for a few stories, his son got better and better at telling/writing the stories because he was able to read them the way you read other stories, without the painful writing/typing process slowing him down. As I say, it was just a blog post, but if the process is getting in the way of the product, it might be a way to collaborate and change the process.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the idea! We're looking into some transcription software for her this year. She's really creative and loves coming up with stories, but her mental block about writing has gotten worse over the years. Especially since they don't do much fun, creative writing in schools these days...So our plans this year are all about changing the process for her, like you said. I'm ok if she never loves writing the way I do, but I'd like her to not be traumatized by it either!
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